Girls, Girls, Girls

Over the past weekend I had the privileged of being a class facilitator at an event designed to motivate, encourage, and educate young girls.  The Non Profit Organization Pretty Girlz Rock founded and run by Shay Hopper has a Pretty Girlz Rock Retreat every year before school starts.  Last year I was away at my cousin's wedding so I wasn't able to participate, but I so wanted to be involved this year.

I remember being a part of various mentoring programs growing up that were geared towards college prep, church, and encouragement and it had a great impact on my self esteem and self- confidence.  There can never be too many programs of this kind.  The 3rd Annual Pretty Girlz Rock Retreat was AMAZING. This year's theme was "Girlz of Grace".  The theme was both a nod to biblical reference and poise.  There were various table discussion covering topics such as what to post on social media, goal setting with vision boards, being successful, conflict resolution, relationships/ friendships, self-esteem, abstinence and many more that occurred over the two day retreat.  The young ladies were received by a Red Carpet entrance complete with a photographer to capture their glamour in front of the Step and Repeat.  In addition there was motivation, spiritual nourishment, swimming, dancing, exercise, caricatures, and a talent show- just to name a few.  Small groups were organized and each group had their own mentor to guide them throughout the retreat.  There were approximately 60 girls in attendance. This blessed my soul!!!!

I taught on the topic of female hygiene in a discussion entitled "So Fresh and So Clean".  The girls were very open and willing to discuss the intricacies of what it means to be a girl and how we take care of our hygiene including body and facial care.  I was thrilled to provide them with age appropriate insights, dispell myths, and encourage them to be who they are...a Pretty Girl who Rocks!

This had me thinking about this season as our girls (and boys) return to school.  The media has inundated us with so many images of what beauty is that it is easy to get consumed by those images.  I was proud to see the display of girls ranging in ages 11-18 that had their own swag.  They presented themselves in a variety of ways- clothing choices, some with makeup, some without, some with natural untreated hair, some with.  I thought how great to see such self expression.  I sought to reaffirm their beauty and potential to each and every one of them as did the Host- Mrs. Hopper and the rest of the wonderful staff of volunteers.

It is so important to provide this type of service to our youth.  With the amount of negative influences they come in contact with on a daily basis why is it that we then point the blame at parents when things go wrong?No, no.... it truly takes a village to raise a child.  If there are 100 messages of negative influence that glorify sex, violence, drinking, drugs, ect.  How can we possibly think that parents can fight this issue alone.  I applaud Mrs. Hopper for her commitment to the youth throughout the year and this wonderful program. Check out Pretty Girlz Rock (Pretty Girlz Rock Event Planners) on facebook and become involved in your community.  One word, one action can change a life!!!

Shay Hopper- Organizer/ Founder pictured above (top right picture), fourth person from the left.
Example of a Vision Board created.
Volunteer staff stuffing goody bags the night before.
Me with my Girl of Grace T-Shirt.

Be well, be blessed, find your Momentum!!!!

Syreeta

www.mbhconcepts.com

Don't let someone else's imperfections become your insecurities....

Within any relationship there is bound to be some discord from time to time, but do you let another person's imperfections become your insecurities?


He/ She cheated on you:
Your mental record: "I must not be good enough, I'm fat, I don't look as good as he/she, I wasn't doing my part, no one will ever love me"  and on and on


Your boss yells at you in front of your colleagues:
Your mental record:  "I suck, I really should quite because I'm no good"


Your friend does not include you in a gathering:
Your mental record:  "I guess I'm not a good friend, I have been down and out lately, I'm too fat to hang out anyway"


Your children act out:
Your mental record:  "I'm worthless, I'm not a good parent"


STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP!!!!! 


Don't let someone else's imperfections become your insecurities.  Stop playing that recording in your mind, change the tune.  Many times we read way too much into things, over analyze.  Sometimes the other person forgot, is going through their own mess, or is simply a jerk.  Their character flaws do not have to feed into your self-esteem in a negative manner.


Think about it:  Identify what happened, state your feelings about it, and your expectations- then move on.  Again, your feelings about IT does not need to translate into negative feelings about YOU.  It doesn't start out as an easy process, but with anything that you practice...it becomes easier with time and practice, and since no one is perfect- you'll get a lot of practice.


Be well, be informed, find your momentum.............


Syreeta


www.mbhconcepts.com

Well its been a while.............

I looked at my blog and saw that it has been OVER A YEAR since I last posted....oh my!  So what have I been up to you?  I have been Living My Best Life.  I have been embarking on a journey to eat cleaner and become more active again.  I have transformed my part-time practice into a full-time private practice, expanded services,  relocated, and redesigned it.  I have been focused on family, friends, and business connections.


But now that I have done all of that, its time for me to get back to my blog and I must apologize for neglecting it.  If you have not done so, please visit my website at www.mbhconcepts.com and follow me on twitter @MBHConcepts.  I hope you have been Living Your Best Life as well and I look forward to sharing more information and opinions with you.


Be well.......


Syreeta

How to survive the Holidays- Conflict, Grief, Recovery, Stress

As the Holidays roll around we think of joyous times, mistletoe, good food, and fun with family and friends. However, the holidays are also a time in which one may deal with conflict, grief, recovery, and stress.  How do we get through the holidays without going mad?  Here are some tips to keep in mind:

Conflict
Holiday parties are sure to be full of fun and family.  However, these tines can also come with drama. Unresolved issues have their way of rearing their ugly heads during these times.  It is important to keep things in perspective.

1.  If there is unresolved conflict with a friend or family member please note that the holiday party, whether at a home or a venue, is not the place to air out your grievances.
2.  You can be cordial and save your issues for a more appropriate time.  If you have not tried or had the opportunity to address the conflict prior to the event it is best left to be discussed at a more reasonable time. There is nothing worse than a gathering that ends in a shouting match.
3.  Likewise, these matters need not be circulated throughout the party i.e. ""you know what happened...."  Holiday gatherings are not the time, nor the place for gossip.

Grief

The holidays bring about times of grief for many.  Longing for a loved one that was lossed through death or separation is common place.  It is important to understand that sadness is a normal human emotion and that grief is the process through which we demonstrate such sadness and process a loss.

1.  If the loss is attributed to death- share pictures and stories of the loved one with friends and family.  Positive memories aid in the healing process.
2.  If the loss is due to separation such as a divorce understand that your children may be experiencing sadness as well.  Be open to allowing the children the opportunity to speak with the other parent and share some of the holiday time if safety is not an issue.  Remember that the separation is between the adults and not the children.
3.  If you are grieving the loss of a relationship, surround yourself with friends and family.  Don't isolate.  Make sure you do not "beat yourself up" about the breakup.  Now is not the time to place blame or look for faults, rather a time to self-evaluate and realign yourself with things that you want and that are important to your future.
4. Self-care is key!  Be good to yourself during these times.

Recovery
Many believe that relapse is undeniable for most during the holidays.  On the contrary, the holidays can be a time for renewal and many suffering from addiction find themselves making a step towards recovery through detoxification or entering treatment programs.
1. If you are currently using and want to stop it is important to enlist a support team, locate treatment options, seek medical attention, have a written plan.
2.  If you are in recovery it is important to know and understand your triggers (who, what, when, and why you drink or drug) and have a relapse prevention plan (who you will call or solicit for support, what you will do, when you will do it, where you will go, and why you want/need to stay clean if a trigger presents itself).
3.  If you are supporting a person in recovery it is important to know that the journey of recovery is theirs, a sense of normalcy may be difficult to find when the past has been littered with dysfunction, do not enable, ask the recovering person if they are comfortable with alcohol at the party prior to- but do not make them feel uncomfortable about their abstinence by highlighting it or their past during the party, ask the person if they would like to invite a recovering or otherwise supportive non-drinking friend, mocktails may not be appropriate depending on the stage of recovery the person is in.

Stress
During this time, stress is second nature.  Stress can be positive in that it allows us to meet deadlines or otherwise counteract a challenge.  Those of you that participated in Black Friday shopping experienced stress and I hope you got the reward you set out for!  The added holiday stress of any of the above topics or shopping, holiday meal preparations and arrangements can however be a bit much considering we deal with a certain amount of stress on a daily basis.  It is important to note the following;
1.  There is only one you- take care of yourself first so that you can take care of others.  Don't involve yourself in situations that will result in undue stress.
2.  There are only 24 hours in the day and 6-8 of them require you to sleep- understand your limits and boundaries.  Create a task list, optimize your time through time management, start early/ don't procrastinate, it's okay to say no.
3.  Solicit help- the holidays are a time of family and friends (a sentiment that has resounded throughout this post) elicit help, don't do it all alone and don't be afraid to pass the baton on some things- you make great macaroni & cheese and apple pies and wrap gifts to perfection, but sometimes you just can''t do it all! In the end, it is quality time that matters.

So as we string our lights, pull out the festive decorum, and hang the mistletoe- remember these things. Someone, if not you is dealing with some of these issues.  Be supportive and ask for support, care for yourself so that you can care for others.  I love this time of year, but often long for loved ones that have passed.  I cherish the memories they have left behind as I build new lasting memories with friends and family. I know that tomorrow is not promised so it is important to build on relationships, worry-less, and give more. 'Tis the season! and guess what....it will be around again next year so make each one count!

Its Giving Tuesday!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's my Unselfie  :)

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Visualize Your Future, Actualize Your Dreams

Picture it!!!!!  The dreams and aspirations you have set for yourself have come true, it here, its now, and you have accomplished all that you ever have wanted.

For many of us, including myself, this has not yet occurred.  However, we should be pretty darn close and ready to want and achieve more.  When in graduate school studying for my Master’s Degree, I had a professor who required the class to participate in what I now know as a Visual Goal Setting.  The task was simple- think of your goals: personal and professional and cut out pictures from magazines that depicts the goals.  This would serve as our 5 year plan.

I happily participated in the scavenger hunt, looking for pictures that creatively illustrated my goals.  Pictures of travel sights, family, friends, pets, a diploma, professional, and a scenic office view quickly filled my poster board.  I was excited and eager to complete the goals.  The poster traveled to Houston, TX with me when I relocated after graduate school.  I would take a fond glance at it every now and then.

"Shoot for the moon.  Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”

~ Brian Littrell 

By the time 5 years had past I was well into my career and to my amazement had accomplished nearly everything on my Poster!   Subconsciously I was going through my list and checking goals off as I went.  As to the goal I had not completed during the specified time frame, a doctoral degree- I am still working at that however, I have completed additional post graduate work which has led to additional certifications and licensures (short term goals) en route to the doctoral degree and I remain on track towards this long-term goal.

So guess what?!!! I am creating another poster!!!  This will be another 5 year Poster which I plan to divide into three sections to address 1 year, 2 year, and 5 year goals.

Visualization is key……….what is the last food choice you went out of your way to get, car you dream of, hairstyle you dare to get?  Why do you think ads cost so much during the Superbowl and we tune in to watch and then purchase?  Why do you squirm when you see a bug on television and feel as though something is crawling on you moments later?  Why do we set serene screen savers on our computers?  Why?  Because we want what we see- we are visually stimulated!  Its simple….Visualize and you shall achieve.  Put your goals in front of you and you can see what you are running towards.

By adding a Visualization to your written goals………………….the sky is the limit……FLY!!!  I encourage you to take the time to illustrate your goals so that you may visualize your future and actualize your dreams!

Well Wishes……………Syreeta

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